Decisions…

I have come to yet another crossroads in my life, where do I go for a J-O-B?  I have options which is always good, but at the same time I am curious as to which one I should take. I wish one could see, say five years down the road. and know what each choice will bring.  However, this may not be as desirable as it would be assumed.  It removes the adventure from life, the excitement and the unknown reality of destiny.  I long to be in a position to be in complete fulfillment of what I have been fashioned for.  I think everyone does, but so few are willing to step out and take a chance.

 So if I choose one place over another does it mean I am removing myself or positioning myself, I do not know.  Currently it appears that I may have opportunities arise in Maryland and Louisiana.  Both bring me into reality, what I thought were a dream three years ago.  Both will involve being a school counselor to kids who are underprivileged, desperate and needing someone to care about them as people.  Both offer potential to serve as a launching pad elsewhere.  The glaring differences are pay, and location.  The Louisiana job takes me to the rural cajun country that we all love and adore, and the Maryland job brings me to the center of our National attention, just outside of D.C.  The Louisiana job pays significantly less, 20,000 a year less; however money does not mean everything.  The thing that scares me most about D.C. is I have no idea what to expect, the people I will work with and the nature of my work environment.  With Louisiana I know all of that.  My heart leans towards Louisiana, but is that because of comfort.  I have never been one to shy away from hard decisions, so the possibility of my making this decision based upon comfort is a bleak reality.  What does often permeate in all of my decisions in my heart and its willingness to be led by God into my appropriate place.

So I am left to wander, where oh where should I go…   If anyone has any clue or would like to help out please feel free to advise.   

D.C. (cont)

Okay so I wrote the last blog at about 5 p.m. eastern, prior to my attending the National Community Church’s service at Ebenezer Coffee House (corner of 2nd and F street, if you are ever in the area I suggest you check them out), www.theaterchurch.com. I went into the service primarily with it being a vehicle to connect with some old friends from college, which I did and it was wonderful (I love you Renee, Tracey and Missy, you are all great); however, God had a different plan for why I was there. The pastor spoke directly to what I had already been grappling with all day, just how small I am and in that smallness comes a huge miracle — the miracle of the ordinary.

He stated that there are so many daily task such as brushing our teeth, reading the newspaper, eating breakfast (all before our day begins) without ever realizing the miracles that occur for this to even take place. He gave a general and brief synopsis about the functionality of the human brain and the complex firing of neurons and communication with various cortexes that allow all that I listed earlier to occur. It blew my mind that I had never stopped to realize the beauty and minute detail that God instilled in our creation. The pastor’s exposition brought me to a greater revelation as to just how small I am and yet I am perfectly and wonderfully made by the hand of a big God! I love my God and I am thankful that inspite of failures, insecurities and all too often ignorant human nature I am still a creature in the hands of a loving creator! It is way too easy to forget this, I must remember to keep this at the forefront of my frontal lobe!

D.C.

So here I am in a coffee shop surrounded by all the sights and sounds that our nation’s capitol has to offer… And yet I am uniquely aware of my “individuality” and how small I am. This revelation of sorts came as I stood face to face with the T-Rex at the Natural History museum – man I was so small. This train of thought then led to my reflecting upon the reality of just how small I have allowed my thinking to become. I no longer view myself as a child of God and in return I have become so insignificant in my actions and deeds. This change in thought has created a whirlwind of displeasure with my life. I used to long for so much more and desired nothing more than the destiny that God has intended for my life. It is my heart’s cry that I can once again find the passion that drove me to put up with sleeping on a hard floor in Donaldsonville, just that I might have the opportunity to change a life, to spend sleepless hours in the New Orleans Airport just to bring a cool drink of water or to be involved in the lives of college students in hopes I may be a catalyst to their dreams. I think I am realizing just how small I am in comparison to a big God and thus this has positioned me to once again re-experience what I once knew.